on the last day of the year

well, time really did fly so fast. another year had passed. another year i spent here in kl. this has been a blessed year for us… though i must admit that we still don't have savings yet =( … but then i realized that what matters is what you have and not what you dont.

i finished my 1-year contract with IBM last aug. i was cramming to look for another job since june. i was even ready to go back to the phils to work there. but then another blessing came. i was hired by eds eventhough i do not have any cobol experience. i enjoy working in eds because there are many filipino friends. i gained so many friends.

even if we do not have savings, we still got to pay some of our debts (the credit cards are still there.. ampf!). and we really got to enjoy what we have here. we can buy whatever we want, whenever we want. unlike before that we have to worry about so many expenses that we sometimes limit ourselves and never enjoy the salary i worked hard for. we were really financially blessed i must say (makes we think, maybe we just didn't spent wisely that's why we do not have savings.. hehe..). also, none of us got sick. i will not count the time when pauline ate her earring because it was accidental. we were all in good health.

this has really been a blessed year for us. my relationship with my husband got stronger and more mature. we still had petty quarrels but none as big as when we were in the phils. pauline is growing to be an intelligent, sweet and pretty girl (though being more makulit than before).

im looking forward to this year. i know many challenges await us but with the Lord's guidance, i know we can surpass anything. pauline will need to go to proper school now. so if ever my contract is extended, we need to make that sacrifice to send her back to the phils and study there. im already starting to be sad thinking about that but i know we need to do it. as much as i possible, i still want to extend my work here so that we can have savings to put up even a small business. i know we can achieve it.

thank you Lord for all the blessings you showered upon us. forgive us for the times we have failed to follow your word. we pray that the coming year will be a blessed and peaceful year not only for our family but for everybody else.

dreams

i've been dreaming of it lately.. again.. twice in just a matter of days. i really dont know why. i cant explain. they say that when you think about something too much, you sometimes carry it to your sleep. but this is not true for my case. in fact, im not even thinking about anything like that. so i really am in awe why all this dreams are coming now.

i remember that i used to have these dreams before. before that darn thing happened. it was like a premonition. now, is it meant to be a sign again? that something bad is gonna happen? i hope not. i dont want to be a paranoid worrying about it. i dont want something to burden me now. im ok with my life. things are going quite well.

but then i just cant ignore it. there must be a reason why it is happening. aaahhh! i dont know what to do. i dont want to think about it but when i remember it, i start to feel afraid.. afraid that it might happen again.

mErRy ChRiStMaS!

pasko na naman… our 2nd christmas here in KL. as usual walang masyadong happening. yesterday nagluto kami for noche buena. kare-kare, lechon kawali, leche flan, carbonara. yum yum! sarap no? hehe.. nang-inggit pa..

we attended the midnight mass at Our Lady of Fatima in Brickfields. nun kinanta yun "O holy night", naiyak ako.. naalala ko kasi si nanay. nakakamiss. sabi nga ni nanay, nun magsimbang gabi daw siya nun dec16 naiyak din siya. kung mayaman lang daw siya, hindi na niya ako papaalisin. hay. ako din naman, ayoko sana umalis. kaya lang kailangan. well, dapat na cguro akong matutong magtipid para makaipon na. i'll make sure our next xmas will be spent in the phils.

anyway, tama na ang senti mode. sabi nga ng kanta, it's the season to be jolly. =) ok naman ang xmas celeb namin kahit kami-kami lang. besides, magkachat kami ng mga kamag-anak ko knina. so everything went well.

o cia, got to go.. may pasok na nga pala bukas. meri xmas! god bless u all..

Sulat ni Tatay at Nanay sa Atin

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensiyahan.

Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan
o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan.
Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako sa tuwing sinisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan
ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan
ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang.
Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong
tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo
noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay
nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang sirang plaka.
Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong
Pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan.

Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa?
kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin,
maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo.
Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa.
Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko.
Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.

Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kitang habulin
As ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit,
Dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang.
Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap.

Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik
Na akong makakwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko.

Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa?
Pinagtyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin
ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit
at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman,
huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan.

Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan,
Pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay.
Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay
At bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha,
ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagpalain ka sana ….
Dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama't ina…

Written by Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles
CWL Spiritual Director
St. Augustine Parish
Baliuag, Bulacan

Very touching. Nung unang beses na mabasa ko ito, naiyak ako. Siguro hindi lang bilang isang anak kundi mas higit bilang isang magulang. Tama nga un kasabihan na maiintindihan mo lang ang mga pangaral sayo ng magulang mo if you're already a parent. Na wala silang hahangarin sa buhay mo kundi pawang kabutihan lamang… what's the best for you..

Sa aking mga magulang, maraming salamat. Hindi ko man laging nasasabi, mahal na mahal ko kayo. Gagawin ko ang lahat para sa ikagiginhawa ng buhay ninyo.

xmas is near!

december na! advance meri xmas. =)

well, andito pa rin ako sa KL. di kami uuwi sa pinas this year (*tipid mode* hihihi..).  kaya madami na naman akong mami-miss. here's a list of what I miss the most during this time of the year.

1. my family - since birth, kasama ko na sila.. we share every occasion.. but things changed when i started to work abroad. no matter how much i want to be with them, i need to consider so many factors. pero syempre masaya ako that my hubby and my baby are here with me. 

2. my friends - this is the perfect time for gatherings, parties.. kainan, inuman, kuwentuhan. catching up with each other's lives. 

3. food!!! - need i say more? sa dami ng parties this season, ikaw ang susuko sa pagkain. gusto ko tuloy ng bibingka at puto bumbong! waaahhh!!!

4. parties - sangkaterbang party.. from the office to my friends.. hay.. i miss those days.. (pero this year, may xmas party kaming mga noypi. at least meron kahit isa.. hahaha..)

5. performing in the parties - narealize ko lng recently, kakamiss din palang magperform. eto kc yun time na may performance sa ISD xmas party at isa ako sa usual organizers/performers. kakamiss sumayaw. =(

6. gifts! - eto un time na umaapaw ang cube ko sa mga regalo. as in!

7. going to divisoria - this is a dreaded time for my hubby kc kailangan namin pumunta ng divi para bumili ng kung anik-anik. pangregalo sa lahat ng nilalang. ayaw na ayaw niya, gustong-gusto ko naman. ang mura kc eh.. hihihi…

8. xmas carols - kakamiss din un tipong kahit san ka magpunta eh makakarinig ka ng xmas songs. dito kc sa mall lang usually nagpapatugtog nun. (which gives me an idea na magsound trip sa pasko, bulabugin ang mga kapitbahay… hehe…)

9. xmas decors - xmas trees, lanterns, xmas lights, poinsettia, xmas balls.. kakamiss mag-ayos ng xmas tree. dito kc parang medyo nakakatamad, alangan naman bumili ako ng bumili ng decor tapos pahirapan ko ang sarili ko pag uuwi na kami dahil sa dami ng iuuwi.. argh!

10. xmas mass - meron namang xmas mass dito pero iba pa rin sa pinas. i miss the xmas eve mass in Lourdes. you really can feel the spirit of xmas. cguro dahil na rin sa mood ng mga tao na lahat masaya.

actually nakakamiss na talaga ang xmas sa pinas. sayang talaga at di na naman kmi makakapagxmas dun. 2 years in a row na. hopefully next year… =p